About the world of BDSm

A dominatrix, is a woman who takes the dominant role in BDSM activities. A dominatrix might be of any sexual orientation, but her orientation does not necessarily limit the genders of her submissive partners. 

Wondering why someone might hire a Dominatrix? A variety of reasons. "Some folks seek us out because they saw 'Fifty Shades of Grey' and are interested in experimenting with BDSM for the first time," says Shakti. In her opinion, "hiring a professional is one of the best and safest ways to start exploring BDSM, kinks, or fetishes." That's because there are safe(r) ways to do things like whip, flog, spank, choke, or slap someone—all of which the professionals know, but a partner may not. Plus, a pro is able to create what Jean calls, "a non-physical safe space to explore your desires," in the way a partner (especially a not-so-loving partner) may not be able to do.

Other folks seek out ProDommes to play out a very specific fantasy. "Sometimes clients will have written out a full script with very specific lines that they want me to say during a scene," says Shakti. Or, they may request a very specific sex act. In the case of the latter, clients will hire a professional with a specialty in that act (yep, ProDommes have specialties). Paige, for instance, specializes in "sadomasochism, behavior modification, sensual-strict domination, impact play, and corporal punishment, electro-play, rough body play, beat downs, primal play, full toilet training, sensory deprivation and overload, slave training, and tantric kink with a focus on breath work and catharsis...to name a few." Other specialties include poop, food, sploshing, tickle-torture, sensation play, humiliation, nipple-torture, medical play, cock and ball torture, nipple torture, impact play, and pegging. (For more on ~all this~, you might want to check out Ultimate Guide to Kink by Tristan Taormino and Barbara Carrellas or Decoding Your Kink by Galen Fous.)

Clients don't need to know exactly what they want to try before reaching out to a ProDomme—the professional can help you figure that out. "When someone doesn't know what they want to try, we'll talk about the last thing they masturbated to, what porn they enjoy, what they fantasize about, and what they want to feel during/after a session," says Jean. "I'll use that info and suggest acts I think might align with that, and then we'll talk it over." (FYI, these are the most common sexual fantasies.)